My Pink Straight-Jacket

Pottery Night 2007--Ahh, painting. It's so soothing.

I know I'm crazy, but I thought that I would confirm the self-prognosis and have a straight-jacket made. I decided that it had to be hot pink because I'm not going to the Funny Farm in Plane-Jane White! I'm even going to have it bling-ed out with rhinestones. It'll be the Paris Hilton of straight jackets. I wonder if it'll make me look anorexic. That would be hilarious! I think a disco ball in my padded cell would have to be mandatory. It would give me something to stare at. Yes, flashing light are just the ticket for my poor overworked brain. Maybe they would bust out some disco music for me. I could get my groove on (sans hands/arms) and not worry about accidentally hurting myself. I'll have those padded walls to protect me you know. Hmm, I wonder if the floor will be padded, too. It had better be. I'm quite accident prone. Ooh, I'd better make arrangements for the asylum personnel to give me a weekly pedicure. I've got to keep my toes and feet looking great if I'm going to be staring at them a lot. Maybe they'll let me watch Disney movies. Those aren't too violent. If they want to torture me (on days when I do something naughty), they could pull out Barney videos. That would put me on the straight and narrow real quick. I'll still be insane though, despite the Barney punishments. I wouldn't be able help myself. Watching that purple dinosaur strut his stuff to cheesy music is enough to make me spew purple-pea soup. My head just might spin around, full circle. Hmm, maybe that wouldn't be the best punishment after all. They'll have to be a little more creative. They also need to make sure that I'm tweezed regularly. I'm not going to be prancing under my disco ball looking like the uni-brow. This insane chick has got her standards to maintain. If I'm going to commit to being insane, I've got to be in-style. Well, this crazy chick has got to get some sleep. Morning comes early and all that jazz....TTFN!