Lost on purpose...

How can something this cute drive me so crazy?!?

I ran to Wal-mart with the boys to pick up two things. Water bottles and paper plates. I figured that this trip would be easy because it would be quick. I WAS WRONG! Jayden had to sit in the cart, Tanner had to ride underneath the basket and Ethan had to be the one to push the cart. This was quickly becoming a catastrophe, so I took control of the cart and The Incredibly Short Hulk surfaced. He yelled at me, threw himself onto the floor, curled up into a ball and refused to follow me. I calmly walked back to him, picked him up, put him in the cart and proceeded to pick up the needed water bottles. After turning my back for a few seconds, Ethan was out of the cart, out of the water/liquor isle and had completely disappeared. I went to the checkout to pay for my purchases and then walked to the exit. I had Jayden make sure Ethan didn't go to the car and spoke to the greeter by the door about Ethan. He used his walkie-talkie to ask store associates if they had seen my son. They had. I called for Jayden to come back and we headed off in the direction of the paint department, where the greeter said he was. He wasn't. So, the boys and I started at the Tire department and looked down every isle until we reached the video game section. Just ahead was the infant/toddler clothing section, which ironically was very close the water/liquor isle of the grocery department. I noticed four or five associates standing near a display of cute Christmas toddler dresses. I knew my son was with them. After giving a brief description of what Ethan was wearing, I explained to the associates that he was mad at me. One of the ladies laughed and said was he was angry. Apparently, he had growled at them when they tried to coax him out of the dresses. He picked out a very good hiding spot, too. The wide skirts of the dresses were crammed next to each other and the arms of the fixtures were low enough that they almost touched the floor. I couldn't see him at all, not even his feet. I parted the dresses like Moses parted the Red Sea and dragged Ethan out. He was still grumpy at me as I carried him out. The nice man at the exit watched my purchases for me, so placed Ethan back in the cart and rolled out to the car. While we drove away, Ethan told me that the ladies tried to tickle his feet. I can only imagine what it was like for the four women and their male supervisor as they tried to coax him out. It must have been like a tea party with Grumpy Bear. That kid really knows how to make me sweat bullets. He did pretty much the same thing to me on Saturday. It was at another Wal-mart, but time it was because Tanner had to go to the bathroom while we were already on the road. After Tanner was done, we picked up a copy of GI Joe and headed for the checkout. Ethan picked up a Ring Pop and demanded that I buy it. I told him "No!" and he ran off with it. I had Jayden go after him, but Jayden wasn't quick enough and lost him. I freaked out and dragged the boys with me to search the toy and video game departments. On our way back around the store, I heard a page on the intercom "We have a lost mommy of a four-year-old boy..." We headed straight for the checkout isles. I found him hanging out with three ladies in one of the isles. He was acting all sweet and happy around them. One remarked that he was a good little boy because after he went to look for me at the care, he came back in the store and let them know he had lost me. Right after she said that, Ethan and Tanner took off like wild rabbits for the exit. I heard her say, "Well, maybe he's not as good as I thought" and I laughed at her as I took off like a lioness after my prey. I didn't even see my brother-in-law and nephew by the hair salon as I raced past them toward the exit. After I caught Tanner and Ethan by the backs of their shirts, Jayden told me about Steve and Hunter. We all turned back around and said "Hi" before we left. I was initially impressed that Ethan thought to check the car and then asked for help from the blue-vested people, but I was also freaked out that crossed he parking lot by himself. I'd like to say that that was the first time he has purposely lost me, too, but it isn't. Both he and Tanner have done it to me at Costco, where it's very easy to hide in between isles and boxes. It's been while, but I guess Ethan decided it's time to pick up on old bad habits. I did have a nice talk with him this evening about how I get scared when he runs off. I told him that I didn't want any crazy strangers to find him and hurt him. I agreed to not do it again, but somehow I have a feeling I haven't seen the last of this bad behavior. I wish someone would invent a child leash that isn't so easy to escape from and that will propel the child's feet/bum forward when they try to play the "I'm-Heavier-Than-A-Boulder-When-I-Throw-Myself-To-The-Floor-And-Press-All-My-Weight-Down-So-No-One-Can-Easily-Pick-Me-Up" game. Come on all you mad scientists out there! Invent something I really need. ;-)