Tanner turned five years old today. During the past couple of weeks, Tanner had multiple accidents. One of those days, he either wet himself or wet the bed a total of four times. Bryan and I resorted back to waking him up around 10pm to make him go to the bathroom. It's a method that helped him stay dry in the past and it worked like a charm this time. Unfortunately, when that area improved, he digressed with other half of his waste management. He figured out how not to miss the toilet around a year ago, but continues to have a complex about toilet paper. He's has very messy poops and if he doesn't have a diaper wipe to help him finish the job, then he doesn't get clean. If there are no wipes in the bathroom, he leaves the remaining poop on his bum and rushes out to play again. I can't count how many times I've had to clean his underwear in the toilet. A few of them have actually been flushed because the boys were in a hurry to go potty before I had the chance to rinse. All of it is absolutely disgusting and it drives me bonkers to clean. I'm surprised I haven't lost my sanity all together. On the plus side, his accidents do help cure the baby cravings. I haven't had a craving for a fourth child for almost a week now. Anyhoo, this is where we have our first Tanner-ism. He up and announced on Sunday "When I am five, you won't have to wipe my bum anymore. I can do it myself". I told him, " That's nice, but why did we have to wait until you were five?" He didn't have an answer for that one.
Tanner had school today, and over the weekend Tanner insisted on taking cupcakes to his classmates for his birthday. Sunday evening and Monday afternoon he would say "You need to bake the cupcakes Mommy" or "Are you going to bake the cupcakes?" or "Bake the cupcakes!" Like I've mentioned before, he's very persistent. I did make them on Monday night and put them in the fridge to cool overnight. I also took the frosting and spreading knife and put it in a cupboard near the fridge. I did that in hopes that Ethan and Tanner wouldn't see it and open it up while I was at work. My plan didn't work. When I got home with the boys before Tanner's class started, I couldn't find the frosting. I looked in the cupboard, then on the counters and tables and then the fridge, but still no frosting. Out of frustration, I yelled "Where's the frosting?" and Ethan scurried to the red chair and plucked out the opened frosting container from behind it. He had sampled the frosting and hid the evidence. After removing the finger imprints, I used what I had left to frost the cupcakes and then took Tanner to school (he was ten minutes late). I scolded Ethan for touching the frosting, but that didn't stop him from eating a Popsicle and drinking chocolate milk while I wasn't watching. That kid loves sugar just about as much as I do.
Later that evening, we went to Burger King for some dinner. Tanner insisted that he bring his new stuffed monkey with us.
After dinner, we had cupcakes and ice cream. I had to hunt down a match so I could light up Tanner's number five candle on his cupcake. Back-tracking a moment, while I was at work, Tanner had managed to break the candle in two. Being the Little-Miss-Fix-It Mom that I sometimes like to be, I glued it back together with Bryan's model army glue. It had plenty of time to set, so by the time I put it in the cupcake it was almost like- new. Jayden, Ethan and I sang to Tanner and I took a few pictures to immortalize the moment. I used several different settings so that I could create a satisfactory shot. It took me a little while get the shots I wanted, so the boys complained that the candle was melting too much. I stopped, let Tanner blow out the candle and we all sat down at the table to enjoy our treats. Right after I took my first bite, Tanner announced "Mommy, I am the boss now". I turned my head and looked at him in surprise. He quickly added "...over Jayden and Ethan" I told him, "That's what you think, but I don't think your brothers will agree".
Since last week's premature shopping trip (and ever since Jayden turned eight) Tanner has eagerly and impatiently waited to be five years old. He has often said "After I turn five, then I will be six, and then seven and then eight and then I will be big" (as if it would instantly happen). I remember one time he told me he wanted to be as old as daddy so he could drive and play games. Last week, he brought some art work home from school. One of the pages was a hand-drawn picture that resembled Mickey Mouse. It had a large blue head and two blue circles on top. Underneath a long stick figure body were large, red and "M" shaped shoes. The caption on the bottom read "When I grow up, I want to be Mommy". Not "a mommy". Just"Mommy". I asked him if he meant that he wanted to be a daddy, but he said no. He wants to be me! I'm very flattered by his project, but I have a hunch that he really wants to be me because I have the power over the game remotes. I know he would love to have control over those.
Here is my last story from last week. I purchased Tanner a Monkey bean bag chair last Tuesday for his birthday. I came home from work on Friday, hiked upstairs to put my purse away. Just as I passed the boys' room, I caught something out of the corner of my eye. The bean bag monkey looked strangely different! I stepped back and found that one of our resident artists had decorated the Monkey's face with brown marker. I dove for the marker, which was uncapped and on the floor and sighed with relief when I discovered that it was indeed washable ink. The drawing was so hilarious that I took a picture of it. As I was cleaning the marker off with diaper wipes, Tanner came up stairs. He asked me why I was wiping off the Monkey's mouth. I told him that he wasn't supposed to draw on it. He told me "The monkey needs a mouth, Mommy". I tried to explain that the seam at the bottom of the face was his mouth, but he didn't buy it. He continued to insist that the monkey needed a mouth.
Silly Monkey!
Check out the awesome uni brow and beauty spot.
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